YELLOW CONFESSIONS

He walked around a lot. He couldn't stay indoors anymore. Not after that conversation. How did they hide something this big? He was disgusted. Ashamed. Repelled by them. No! not her… never her. She was the only one who seemed sane in that house. The look his parents had when he confronted them was hideously comical. As if he had caught them stealing kid's toy... He couldn’t look back at her window anymore. He stormed out. She had always talked in lyrics . Of course she walked alone. When words would not come out, she hummed. And all the unspoken conversations she had or wished to have reminded her of him. She would have smiled but she won't, she decided. Some may applaud her daring plan of escaping the bars, the chains at her window, through which she spoke to her world outside. And she thought about all the conversations she heard. The ones outside her door, her parents'. Who spoke in hushed whispers or sometimes shouted. Of course it was always about her. About how much they cared for her. How much was too much? She looked right below her window. There was a laburnum tree. Too bright, like the rude awakening from an incomplete dream. A half heard familiar call. A child was sitting there. He was also talking to himself like she did. Why did they scold only her then? She closed her eyes, leaned back and wished with all her might for him to come back. She had a lot to tell him... Of the women at the neighbors' terrace. How normal their conversation was. How absurd! How lucky. Lucky that people don’t fidget around them. People don’t peep from the corner of their eyes to look at them when they speak… Of the boys at the house next to the fat uncle's place. How they sneaked around and scaled walls to drink something strange which made them fearless. And how they would shout and dance and curse and cry their way aback into the same house they had so carefully escaped from… How the fairies above the starts came into her room at night and taught her new songs. How lovely their voice was… where was he? Why didn't he come back sooner??? He walked until he could not take it. then he let himself feel the miracle of some tears. He looked back to the conversation that changed his life. This afternoon. Was it just hours earlier. Seems like days. His sister was not well they told her. After 15 years of having her! They couldn't have her anymore? So? she would be left at the orphanage. The arrangements were being made in secret before he returned from the city. It had to be done then, he had to be kept in the dark. He shouldn't know. He reached a day earlier than expected...That's when he caught them by surprise... Then he walked back to the shy laburnum and sat there calling out silently to god and cursing him for witnessing his shame. mocking his ignorance. That too was silent. His answer was waiting for words. This conversation was reserved for later. For now, he needed to answer his parents. Yes, he would take care of her. She was his sister. She was sane enough to wait for him. They were the ones insane enough to give her up to strangers...